What Women Should Know Before Their First Solo Trip
Do you want to get into solo travel but are nervous about taking that first trip alone? I know that we could always use more advice about traveling alone as a woman. Today I’ve asked eight travel writers to talk about what they want every woman to know about solo travel before taking that leap. I hope this gives you the courage to start your own solo adventure!
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
Shelley from Travel Mexico Solo
After three years of traveling solo and living in Mexico, my number one piece of advice for how to travel alone for the first time is to unconditionally listen to your intuition. While at first this might seem easier said than done, with practice and repetition, it becomes second nature.
Though mainstream media would lead you to believe Mexico is the most dangerous country on Earth, I can attest that I have visited 14 of its states now, and felt totally safe in all of them.
How is this possible in such a "dangerous" country? Easy: I avoid unsafe situations, and I avoid them by unconditionally listening to my intuition.
As a solo traveler, you must make it a point to never question your intuition — and by never, I mean never ever. If you have a strange feeling about something, and your intuition is screaming “Noooo!” at you, then it has to be a no; as in “No further questions, Your Honor.” No. Full stop.
Let's say you're about to walk down a certain street, and you get an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. For me, I now know my next move is to walk down another street. Through long term solo travel I've learned a bad feeling isn't something to investigate, but something to avoid.
How many stories have you heard that went like this, "I had a bad feeling, but I did it anyway, and then [insert bad thing] happened." You've probably heard a few because we've all heard stories like that!
Well, after years of traveling solo, I've come to know that bad feeling — my intuition — is a gift. I believe tuning in to it is one of the main ways I have stayed safe and confident while solo traveling, and the way others can too.
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
Jenni from Cruise Mummy
Travelling solo as a woman is something that many people don't quite seem to understand. Don't be surprised if strangers assume that you've been jilted, that you're lonely, or that you're desperate to make new friends. Of course, most female solo explorers aren't lonely. We travel alone by choice because we actually enjoy our own company and the freedom to spend every moment of our time exactly how we want.
Sometimes, when chatting with new people, they might invite you to join them for a meal or come along on their day trip. If you want to and feel safe, then great. But whatever you do, don't feel the need to just go along out of politeness!
If you say yes to spending time with new people when you'd rather be on your own, you're doing yourself a great disservice. While it can be difficult, it's much better for all involved if you can simply say, “That sounds great, but I'd like to spend some time alone today.”
That way, you can enjoy spending your precious time doing exactly the things that make you happiest, which is much more fun than spending time with a fake smile during someone else's adventure.
START SMALL
Sophie from Just Heading Out
If you’re hesitant to strike out on your own, remember that you can start small. Travel isn’t about distance, it’s about opening yourself up to new experiences. And everything is a whole lot scarier before you try it. So don’t make it too big of a deal. Your first solo adventure doesn’t need to be backpacking around the world, it can also be a weekend away nearby.
My first trip alone was a city trip and I loved it! It was easy to navigate, I felt safe, and there were plenty of activities, so I didn’t get bored or lonely. Although I was terribly nervous, I had a fantastic time and I immensely enjoyed the feeling of freedom that solo travel gave me. From there, I started taking more and longer trips until I had finally built up the confidence to quit my job and go backpacking for 4 months!
So start small, with short trips in your area or country to ease into it. And once you get over the initial hurdle of anxiety and awkwardness, you can start taking longer and further trips. You can rent a cabin for a weekend, just to get away from it all. Or take a fun city trip where you visit museums and try local restaurants. You’ll find that traveling alone is a lot easier than it seems, and you are capable of not only surviving, but thriving on your own. And before you know it, you too might be traipsing across the globe alone!
EXPERIENCE THE THINGS YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE
Jessica from Uprooted Traveler
As a solo female traveler, it can be, at times, easy to get in your head about whether it’s okay to do certain activities by yourself.
I’ve been in a variety of situations by myself, from hiking in U.S. National Parks, to seeing a risque Vegas show, to waiting in line for a roller coaster at Disneyland, and caught myself wondering whether the people around me were noticing the fact that I was, indeed, alone. Do they think I’m odd or don’t have friends? Is this activity safe to do by myself?
It has even, at times, made me question whether I should partake in a particular activity. For example, I backed out of attending high tea in London as I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy it enough by myself to justify the expensive price tag. Spoiler alert, I regret that decision to this day and have since learned that, 1, no one around you even notices that you’re by yourself and, 2, even if they do, you’ll never see them again!
You will 100% regret not trying that Michelin-starred restaurant or trying skydiving for the first time so much more than those fleeting moments of self-doubt and insecurity.
That being said, it’s important to be able to distinguish those types of emotions from an authentic fight-or-flight response when you’re in an uncomfortable or potentially even dangerous scenario. As a solo female traveler, you will almost certainly receive unwelcome attention at times, and it’s important to set boundaries for yourself to know when to walk away from a creepy guy in a hostel bar or when, perhaps, to find some fellow hikers to buddy up with along that epic hike.
BE RUDE IF YOU NEED TO
Jessie from Pocket Wanderings
Making friends with fellow travelers – especially solo travelers – is one of the best parts of travelling alone. When travelling as part of a couple or group, it can be difficult to step outside of this bubble. Forming these connections with new people feels more natural when you are not travelling with someone else. The same goes for getting to know the locals, which is a great way of enriching your travel experience.
But it’s also important to set clear boundaries. Being kind to others is important when you travel (and in life in general!). Yet being overly kind or open can leave you vulnerable to being taken advantage of. It’s never nice to assume the worst of people, but when travelling solo as a woman you do need to keep your wits about you.
Sometimes it’s all too easy to be a bit too polite for our own good. If you feel uncomfortable or you don’t want to do something, then don’t be afraid of offending someone. It’s not worth your own safety and peace of mind just to avoid being abrupt – whether it’s to a fellow traveler or a local.
The vast majority of the time, you will be welcomed with open arms by the local community. It’s a wonderful and empowering experience. Just make sure that you are always prioritizing your own safety above anything else. So be kind and considerate – but also be rude if you need to.
YOU’Ll NEVER REALLY BE ALONE
Eva from Elevate Calm
I believe what holds back a lot of women from travelling solo is the fear of being alone or a feeling of insecurity. If you are scared of loneliness on the road, you need the trip that much more. Solo travel teaches you how to enjoy your own company. Building that bond with yourself is fundamental if you're on a self-love journey.
When you're on the road on your own, you become the most authentic version of yourself. You have nobody who "knows" you. Even if you consider yourself shy or unapproachable, you will be surprised at how easy it is to meet people out of nowhere.
Aside from random encounters, you can use apps to meet people. Meet up, Facebook groups or events, Couchsurfing, and even Instagram can help you with that. Dating apps are also an option, although I prefer meeting people who don't come with any specific intentions or expectations. You can also get to know people by signing up for social activities. It is extremely easy to meet other tourists because many will be solo like you, and others will be in a great mood from their trip and just ready to make friends. Staying at hostels or booking a guided tour are guaranteed to set you up with some company.
I've met some of my dearest friends on the road. If I was travelling even with a single companion, I would have never been so open to new people or experiences. At times I felt lonely, but you learn to appreciate even these moments when you are able to connect with yourself.
eat ALONE
Samantha from The Wandering Wanderluster
The very thought of sitting alone in a restaurant full of people, eating at a table for one can be intimidating. Prior to my first solo trip, the idea made me feel sick. I would think about how uncomfortable and vulnerable it would make me feel. To avoid the situation, if I ever found myself traveling for business or alone out of town, I’d often eat quick and unhealthy snacks on the go, smuggle McDonalds into my hotel room or not eat at all. Anything to avoid having to actually eat in a restaurant alone.
But at 25 I decided to walk the 850km Camino de Santiago in Spain solo. That is where my fear of eating alone began to break down. It shocked me that it was in my most vulnerable state -- wearing sweaty clothing, muddy boots, no makeup and messy hair -- that I was able to begin to overcome the fear of eating alone.
The truth is, while we're sitting there wondering what everyone is thinking about us, the other diners probably won't even spend 10 seconds pondering the thought of you. They are there to enjoy themselves, not judge you. Only once you get passed this thought can you even begin to enjoy the delightfulness of enjoying your own company and dining for one. Solo travel is about getting out of your comfort zone and not being frightened to do what you truly desire to do. So take the risk on yourself and discover how liberating dining alone can be.
PRIORITIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Cassie from Cassie the Hag
Something I wish I’d known before I first began solo travelling is to prioritize my mental health on the road. Of course, ‘mental health’ means something different to everyone and there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ solution. It’s important to listen to your mind and body and figure out what’s right for you, rather than trying to fit in with what other travelers (or bloggers) are telling you is the ‘best’ or ‘normal’ way to travel. Need a day lying in bed watching movies? Do it! Prefer working abroad or comfortable holidays to fast-paced backpacking? That’s good too.
No matter what happens, bad days on the road are nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s important to listen to our anxieties and loneliness or exhaustion and work through it. Sure, it’s great to get out of our comfort zone once in a while, but don’t feel afraid to say NO as many times as you say YES.
Remember, this is YOUR trip. So whatever you need to do to feel good is totally fine. Oh, and a ‘self-care’ pack goes a long way if you’re prone to anxiety. Consider taking your favorite cozy hoodie, some downloaded Netflix movies or a Kindle, and some extra money for treat days… even if that means just upgrading from a dorm to a private room in a hostel!
Is there anything else you wish you had known on your first solo trip?
Let us know in the comment below!
