How To Create a Self Care Action Plan
Here at Her Bags Were Packed, we focus both on solo travel and mental health. A big part of that includes self care. But what actually is “self care”? And how can we implement that in our lives? This week I asked six individuals working in the mental health field to share their self care experience and examples with us.
And if you’re looking to bring a little self-care into the mix, join us for our self-care accountability group — Unpacking Me Time.
Find the thing that comforts you
Olivia from Mary-Olivia Kram
If there were a universal magical formula for self-care, we’d all be a lot happier.
Unfortunately, self-care looks different to everyone. Television will have you thinking it looks like a luxurious spa day. Social media will tell you self-care is a day at the gym drinking a sponsored power shake.
But what if your self-care day looks a lot more like rifling through clothing at the thrift store? Maybe you prefer baking your way through a whole cookbook in one week. Maybe your self-care doesn’t look anything like someone else’s self-care. Does it really even count then?
Our profit-driven society has removed the emphasis on “self” and has just left it at “care.” It’s easier to make money off of products that the media says will help you feel cared for than it is to leave the onus on the individual.
Imagine the one thing you’d like to be doing right now -- the thing that would comfort you most. Most likely, that is what self-care looks like to you. To me, a day in the woods getting knee deep in mud makes me feel most cared for, and I have friends who might need a self-care day to recover from the very same activity.
Once you figure out what self-care looks like to you, make sure to incorporate it in your life as frequently as you can. Try not to procrastinate self-care days until you are feeling at your worst. Instead, add self-care into your weekly routine. Make sure that you are listening to your needs and treating yourself with kindness.
Your self-care routine is yours to make, nurture, and adjust. So if you find a face mask fun (who doesn’t?), but it’s still not suddenly healing all of your woes, don’t fret. No one can define your self-care but you.
Know what you need
Anonymous at Quiet Person, Loud Thoughts
The clue is in the name: self-care is all about YOU and giving yourself what you need, when you need it. At its core, it’s a scrupulously honest, ongoing process of getting to know yourself and your needs.
When I’m in that ten out of ten depressed state where I really cannot do anything, looking after myself requires staying in bed. Self-care includes accepting that this is the case, and not beating myself up for not having the most productive day ever.
But sometimes when I’m feeling low and stuck in bed, if I’m really honest with myself, self-care is an admission that staying in bed is making me feel worse, and that what I really need is to get up and about.
It can be complex and requires effort to figure out exactly how you’re feeling and what will make you feel better, especially when mental illness feeds you additional doubts. You will make mistakes, and that is okay because it all forms part of this beautiful life-long learning about the magnificent, unique being that is you.
The only way to find out what will work for you and when is to try. Notice how you feel before, what you do about it, and how you feel afterwards. If it works, go again; if not, try something else – there are millions of different tips online, and therapists and friends can help you think of new strategies. Although minimal, this is the best advice I can give, because I truly believe that only you can know yourself with the honesty required for true self-care.
It takes practice, and each time you engage with it, you make self-care easier and more natural for next time. And most importantly, you are telling yourself that you deserve paying yourself attention; you won’t settle for a one-size-fits-all, good-enough approach because you are worth tailoring your own individual healing to get the best for yourself.
make yourself a priority
Christine from Honu Coaching and bodywork
Self-care, although very on-trend, can have a bad rep. We often hear the term and think of it as an indulgence or something only for special occasions rather than as a commitment to the physical, psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual components of our well-being. So many feelings are associated with practicing self-care -- guilt if we give ourselves the time we need, shame if we don't.
The true meaning of self-care is something much deeper; it starts with receiving what you need for yourself first. It's learning to say NO to things that drain your energy and say YES to things that bring you the most joy. Self-care requires practicing self-love and self-worth by identifying self-doubt and forming new beliefs. It's asking for what you need mentally and physically when you need it, even if it’s terrifying or uncomfortable. Finally, self-care means prioritizing and making time for what really matters in your life.
When you make yourself a priority, there is a paradigm shift, not only in your life, but in the lives of those around you. Contrary to your inner critic, prioritizing yourself is by no means selfish. We are so conditioned to serve others above ourselves. In my experience, creating a self-care plan for yourself starts by simply discovering and making a list of the things you love and want to do versus the things you feel you “should” do. Consider this your non-negotiable list. Prioritize one non-negotiable from your list until it becomes a habit before adding in the next. Remember to give yourself grace; habits don’t form overnight.
make it healthy and relaxing
Elizabeth from Therapy with Elizabeth
Self-care has become well known in the past couple years, especially since March 2020. But this has brought up the question- what exactly is it?
Many people might respond with: “Treat yourself” (as nicely defined in Parks and Rec). However, that’s not the best answer.
Self-care is about how you lower stress in your life, so you can keep working to be functioning and enjoying your daily life. Frequently we do not think about self-care being an adulting responsibility, when it is.
I want to invite you to do a quick activity with me. Quickly jot down five activities that you think of when you think about self-care. Now, take a moment and look at the small list and see if you can identify any themes; if so, what are they?
Were any of these on your list? Bubble baths, a night out with friends, curling up with a new book, sitting outside for five minutes, paying your bills on time, exercising, attending a support group or therapy? Congratulations! You’ve identified a few self-care activities. You can find more activities to add to your list online.
The themes from my list above are relaxation, health, socialization, and adulting. For me, these are the four boxes I need to check off to know I’m doing okay. What are yours?
By knowing what boxes I need to check off, I’m able to mix and match what self-care I need to do over the course of a week, because what we all need can change week to week or day to day, even when we are living in a Pandemic induced Ground Hog Day.
maintain good self care habits
Andrea from My Big Fat Bipolar Life
My definition of self-care is making your personal well-being the number one priority on your to-do list.
My philosophy about self-care is very simple: Never let yourself become too anything. The moment you feel too tired, too hungry, or too stressed, it is a strong indicator that your life is out of balance, and it’s time to pull back from the activities or people who are depleting you.
What can you do to replenish your self-care tank when you are running on empty? Cultivate self-care habits that help you maintain your balance. Here are five effective self-care habits that help keep your self-care tank full:
Daily Prayer or Meditation Time — Pencil in time during the day for prayer or meditation to help keep yourself centered.
Adequate Sleep — Everyone has their sweet spot for how much sleep they need to feel replenished. Determine what that amount is for you and prioritize getting enough rest every night.
Consistent Exercise — Exercise is vital for personal well-being. Besides the cardiovascular benefits, it improves memory, relieves stress, enhances sleep, and helps overall mood stability.
A Well-balanced Diet — If you don’t eat well, you won’t feel well. Avoid sugary and processed foods that make you sluggish. Choose foods that are packed with nutrients to keep your energy level up.
“Me” Time — It is important to carve out alone time to decompress from the business of life. It may be as simple as going to bed early to watch your favorite television show or penciling in time to get your nails done or spend time with friends.
Cultivating consistent self-care habits enable you to live a lifestyle you can sustain. Make penciling in time for yourself a priority. Remember, you are the most important item on your to-do list.
find your formula
Dr. Kate from LIFT Wellness Consulting
When you hear someone talk about self-care do you immediately picture a bubble bath?
Media has often equated self-care with bubble baths, yoga, and meditation. While these are forms of self-care, a lot more goes into the formula. The truth is, anything that brings you recovery and lowers stress is self-care.
We each have our own formulas for self-care. For example my daily recovery/self-care formula looks like this: Introverting + Music + No Interruptions = Recovery. For daily recovery, I need to have some time alone, music, and no phone notifications. At times, this may also include a physical activity of some kind but not always. I find these recovery moments in the shower, during my drive to and from work, or during a workout.
To develop your plan, spend some time reflecting on what activities bring you comfort. Make a comfort list and then map out how they fit into your daily, weekly, or long-term self-care. As you consider your own self-care formulas, keep a few things in mind. The end result should be a feeling of relaxation or rejuvenation. It should include things that bring you joy or comfort. And finally, it should be unique to you and your needs. If you do not find cooking or baking to be relaxing and instead bring you stress, it should not be a part of your self-care recovery formula.
Now that we know self care isn’t all just bubble baths and face masks, if you’re ready to work some real self-care in to your routine, sign up here to join us for our FREE self-care accountability group — Unpacking Me Time.
