What It’s REALLY Like To Travel By Yourself
We’ve all heard women’s solo travel described as an incredible, empowering and life-changing experience (because it is!), but that doesn’t mean it’s not without challenges. If I am going to prepare you to take the leap into solo travel, then I feel it’s important to help you understand what it’s really like to travel solo as a woman.
With this in mind, I asked seven other travel bloggers to answer the question, “What’s it really like to solo travel?” I hope you will find their answers both informative and encouraging.
It Can Get Lonely But That’s Okay
JENNY KOTLYAR OF CAMPSITE VIBES
Traveling solo is a very empowering experience because you learn to rely on yourself and develop a better relationship with yourself. But it can also be very lonely, especially at first.
In a world where we’re constantly overstimulated on social media, we’re around co-workers, friends, roommates, etc. all day, sometimes it’s hard to learn to just be with yourself. The first step is to realize you will get lonely, so plan ahead!
When I’m on road trips or hiking solo, and I start to feel lonely, I listen to a podcast. Music is great, but with a podcast, there is someone talking on the other side which helps feel like you’re right there with a friend. While you’re driving, you can also use the time to call your mom, your grandma, or a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. It will mentally stimulate you, and give you some of the human connection you’re missing.
For the evening when you’re getting ready for bed, whether you’re in a hotel room or camping, I bring a book and read until I fall asleep.
The more I travel solo, the better relationship I’ve developed with myself. This better relationship with yourself helps you to avoid feeling lonely because you find comfort and peace by being with yourself.
The Ups & Downs of Solo Travel for Black Women
BISOLA FROM BISTOTHEWORLD
As a black woman, solo travel comes with certain things to think about. Beyond being a woman, there’s colour to take into account and not just any colour -- black in particular. Travelling to Rome? You might get mistaken for a prostitute. Travelling to a lesser known country? There’re the stares to worry about. Then to top it all off, there’s your safety as a woman as well!
But travelling solo as a black woman is also empowering. I know, you’ve heard that before. But seriously? You are essentially opening people’s eyes and normalizing them to seeing black people as tourists in their country and not refugees or the help.
Just thinking about all these obstacles is enough to make anyone just stay home and end up waiting till there’s someone to travel with, right? However, solo travel builds a certain confidence and thick skin because you become your own tour guide, translator, security -- a woman of many, many talents!
Solo travel isn’t always all roses and sunshine. There are times when I’ve experienced a beautiful sunset and wished I was sharing it with someone. Or when something funny happens, you look left and there’s no one to laugh with, which, in itself could be quite funny. But instead of depressing me, these things have actually made me learn to enjoy my own company so much; it's rather alarming sometimes!
And when I do want company, it’s pushed me out of my shy comfort zone to strike up conversations with strangers and build friendships. I think, at its core, that’s what solo travel is all about: self-discovery and really self-love. That’s why I encourage travelling solo wherever possible; it might actually change your life!
Relying on the Kindness of Strangers
CAITLIN BOYLAN FROM THE COUNTRY JUMPER
I love traveling solo. I love the freedom and the thrill and the joy of being completely on my own, no one really knowing where I am or what I’m doing, or having a way to reach me. I love it.
Until – wham – I’m in the middle of a snowstorm in Japan, and I’m not quite sure where I’m going, and I don’t have gloves, and it’s dark. Until – wham – I’m in the airport in Bangkok, and my ATM card isn’t working, and I’ve just landed, and I have no Thai Baht (the local currency in Thailand). Until – wham – I can’t find my Blah Blah Car (a popular rideshare service) in France, and it’s already 30 minutes past the time it should have left, and I don’t have a French SIM card for my phone, and I’m on the side of the street with my backpack and no idea where I’m supposed to be.
And it’s then, in these moments of complete solitude and borderline desperation, when I realize that no one knows where I am or what I’m doing, and they have no way to reach me. And more than that, I realize that even if I could reach them, or they me, they could not help me because I am on the other side of the world (or thereabouts) and the only thing I can do is fall, fully, into the kindness of strangers.
And so I have. In Japan, it was a man who spoke not a word of English who let me make a local call on his cell phone to find the apartment number of my host and escape the snow storm. In Thailand, it was a German couple who lent me spare change to get on the subway. And in France, it was a French woman who spoke fluent English and was just about home after a long day of work but didn’t hesitate to turn around and walk me to the exact spot where my Blah Blah Car was waiting – after, that is, she’d called the driver on her phone to get the location.
Emotions are mixed, and full, and fleeting, and ever-changing when there is no one to bounce them off of, or get angry at, or frustrated with, or depend on – but yourself. And I would do it all again. Fear and strangers. Relief and joy.
You Can't Run From a Broken Heart
MAL OF RAW MAL ROAMS
Myanmar was my first long-term solo trip. Before that, all my solo trips were only short getaways. When I think about this trip today, I believe that it was one of the best trips I have taken. Empowering and exhilarating, I did more, took risks that paid off in some wonderful experiences, and made more friends than I would have if I had travelled with a companion.
But there is one aspect in particular that has become apparent to me during my solo travels. Anything that you deal with internally resurfaces in the daylight because you have so much time for being just with yourself. For me, it was my recent heartbreak. Every evening when I was in my room alone, the intense feelings of loss would come back and strike me.
One evening, after a few mojitos on the hostel rooftop, I met a group of lovely ladies that were enjoying their girls’ holiday. We had a few drinks together and got friendly, but it didn’t take long until I started crying and released my emotional burden on one of them, telling her my full break up story. I let it all out and allowed myself to feel all the negative emotions I was carrying with me inside all this time.
The next day I was a little hungover and embarrassed, realising that unloading my problems onto a complete stranger was not the best way to go about it. But weirdly, I felt so much better. I allowed myself to be miserable that evening, to feel the negative emotions and process them, and that is precisely what I needed to start healing.
So, when you embark on a solo trip, expect any issue that you were ignoring for a long time to resurface. It’s okay not to feel 100% all the time -- embrace it and move on. Solo trips are great for healing.
Standing Out and Getting Sick
ROSE FROM WHERE GOES ROSE
Travelling solo in India was something I wrestled with internally in the months and weeks before booking my trip. I KNEW I wanted to go, but other people’s perceptions were giving me the jitters. India is a destination that is often sensationalised in the media. People who’d never been asked, “Is it safe alone?” Or straight-up asked if I should be going with a man.
It was frustrating. I learnt one of the first lessons of solo female travel: people in your life will not always support you. It’s pretty normal, but it can still feel frustrating. You hope and sometimes expect that people will be wowed by your travels, but it’s not always the case.
I really enjoyed my solo travels in India. I did get a lot of attention, looks and stares, but not just from men - from women and children, too. I did look different, so it made sense, and none of the stares felt malicious or threatening. People were curious and incredibly welcoming, offering to share their food with me and inviting me into their homes.
One of the most challenging things about visiting India solo was getting sick alone. Despite eating in sanitary places and sticking to veggie food, I got sick on day two which lasted for three weeks and ended with me in the hospital on a drip. It really drove home how vulnerable you are when travelling alone. I’d have done anything for someone to pop out and pick me up some meds and reassure me that things were going to be okay.
It may have been a harsh reminder of the difficulties of solo female travel, but it wasn’t all bad…Luckily I was staying at a hostel where I’d befriended the female manager who was around my age. She and her brothers took pity on me and shared family recipes for when you have a bad stomach. As I wasn’t sure where to get the dishes and the hospital was far away, they took turns bringing me food and driving me to the hospital. I was so grateful for their kindness and hospitality.
There’s a lot that’s challenging about solo travel, but you’ll always find friends who’ll help you along the way.
Don’t Let Your Paranoia Get The Best Of You
VERONIKA OF TRAVEL GEEKERY
For me, solo travel, as amazing as it is overall, is often accompanied by paranoia. And she is not a welcome travel buddy. I’m practically the only globetrotter in my family, and, my mother still, even after more than a decade of frequent travel and living abroad, gets extremely anxious when I fly or go somewhere by myself.
I am very cautious but have to constantly remind myself that it’s all in my head. After I follow all safety precautions, like not going to a seemingly dangerous place in the first place, not wandering the streets alone in the dark, and not sitting around in bars or going to clubs, I have to exert some effort to relax and enjoy myself -- without letting my guard down, of course.
About a quarter of all my trips in the past 15 years have been solo. And I’m so glad I went to all these places! Oftentimes I met amazing people along the way, even though I’m more of an introvert by nature. I felt in danger only once or twice during the whole time, but just handling it like I would at home was effective enough. In fact, I encounter more petty crime in Prague, where I live.
To help with my paranoia, it helps greatly to blend in as much as possible. When you appear to be a local, or an expat at least, you can step into that role and enjoy your time without thinking there are criminals waiting for you on every corner.
I’ve recently done some solo hiking and was amazed how enjoyable it is when you don’t have to constantly adjust to somebody else’s speed and rhythm and can just enjoy the purity of the walk with yourself and your thoughts.
Patience is Key When Traveling Solo
RACHEL-JEAN FROM RACHEL OFF DUTY
I have been in relationships for the majority of my adult life, but I travel solo whenever I have an itch to go somewhere and my significant other (or my friends) are tied up with other obligations. When it comes to going alone, I’m usually up for the adventure, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less intimidating. And that is especially true when you try to travel and work abroad, which is what I often find myself doing since I work a full-time job.
Last year, I spent a couple weeks in Southeast Asia, solo, and in order to pull it off, I had to work remotely (on California time). I was determined to see all of the places I had only ever dreamt of, and nothing was going to stop me!
During my trip, I visited temples in Bali, watched the sunset from Marina Bay Sands in Singapore, went on catamaran rides in Caramoan, and danced the night away at a full moon party in El Nido. But during those same weeks, I also worked overnight nearly every evening, struggling to keep my eyes open and my inbox empty. In Bali, I juggled my admiration with small moments of loneliness, not having anyone else to share my amazement with. In El Nido, I was asked countless times by well-meaning local people how I could possibly be enjoying myself without a man by my side. And in Caramoan, a typhoon ended up wiping out electricity for several days, sending me into a frantic frenzy in search of electricity, wifi, and a hot shower.
Solo travel does not come without compromise. Sometimes, you need to have patience with unideal situations in order to make your goals a reality. Reminding yourself where you are and what you’ve empowered yourself to do when you’re traveling solo helps to put things in perspective in the moments where things aren’t “perfect.” For every sleepless evening I spent working overnight, I got to watch some of the most incredible sunsets I’ve ever witnessed. And that, to me, makes it all worthwhile.
So now that you know what it’s really like to travel solo as a woman, are you ready to hit the road?
Still have questions? Let me know in the comments below.