Overcoming Burn Out
At Her Bags Were Packed, we want to focus not only on releasing emotional baggage through travel, but also on the day-to-day aspects of mental wellness. We are in the midst of a series on burn out, and have had some great discussions and resources to share so far.
This week we talked to six mental health professionals on burnout and their advice for combating and preventing it. I hope you find their words as helpful as I did!
Disclaimer - The following interview does not contain professional medical advice and does not take the place of therapy or speaking to a doctor. It is, however, an opportunity to start a conversation around topics that we don't normally have, in order to help us become more comfortable with talking about them.
It’s also important to remember that the contributing professionals may have varied opinions on burnout. While some of you may find this confusing, I think this can be useful as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to mental wellness. I encourage you to pursue the advice and techniques that resonate with you the most.
REST AND PLAY
Jardin of jardindogan.com
Can you prevent burnout? Yes, girl! Of course, you can! Contrary to popular belief, burn out shouldn’t be something we grapple with on a yearly or even monthly basis. We live in a society that rewards and thrives off of our performance – actually overperformance may be a better word to use. So, if no one else has given you permission to rest, please let me be the first to say you deserve rest!
When clients ask me how to prevent burnout, two words come to mind: rest and play. A primary reason for burn out is our inability to set and honor our personal boundaries. This may look like forgetting to eat your lunch at work, not shutting off the computer when you get home, or taking time to relax and take care of your mental and physical health. Although I would assume most people unintentionally disregard their own boundaries, this has a negative impact on our beliefs about our worthiness of rest.
Play is also important because it stimulates creativity, laughter, and fun! As we age, sometimes we forget to get out of our heads and just enjoy the moment. When feeling burnout, I recommend people go on adult playdates. For example, my partner and I plan dates that include jumping on gigantic trampolines (e.g., SkyZone), riding around the city, playing basketball, and painting silly pictures. An activity that allows you to use your imagination is an antidote to burnout.
And for those of you (who are like me!) and think “I don’t have time to rest or play…”, we really have to prioritize these things to live meaningful and joyous lives! Laugh and smile every day because you deserve it!
GROUND YOURSELF
Ruth McNulty
Burn out is a topic that I am all too familiar with at the moment, and I have been doing my best to keep on top of those telltale signs that I’m sinking below the water line. Burn out is something that I have experienced in the past and so I am very mindful of keeping on top of those stressors so that I can prevent myself from going down that road again.
Right now I’m in a boring job that I don’t enjoy, but I’m trying to set up a business that I’ve dreamed about for years. Like the rest of the world, I’ve been dealing with the stress of the Covid pandemic and the fact that all my family and loved ones are on the opposite side of the planet from me, and I have no idea when I’ll see them again... and on top of that I decided to buy property during the biggest housing boom this country has seen in a decade. It has been a wee bit stressful.
Recently, I have felt so overwhelmed that I have almost become paralysed and unable to focus on any one task long enough to actually complete it, which only added to my stress levels.
So what did I do about it? I got back to basics. I got alone with myself and took myself off on some enforced down time. I went away in my campervan to a beautiful spot where I knew I had no phone reception and did some deep digging and soul searching. I journaled and walked, I took deep breaths of fresh air, I swam in the lake and got refreshed in nature.
It was a hard decision to make to take that weekend off when I was so ridiculously busy, but it was exactly what I needed. Taking that time out to ground myself meant I could strip back the to do list and work out the difference between the “must do”s and the “should do”s. I got back to the vision of what was important to me and made sure my priorities were realigned to that. I finally had some head space to figure out which stressors I had no control over and had to find a way to let go of while coming up with a plan of attack for the things I could change. When I got home I was still busy, but at least I now had direction.
My top tip for preventing burn out would be – get to know yourself, get to know your triggers, get to know your healing strategies and understand what makes you tick. Once you’ve got that you can then easily check in with yourself and make the adjustments you need in those prolonged stressful times.
TAKE TIME FOR YOU
Anonymous of Quiet Person, Loud Thoughts
In our world where productivity equates to self-worth, it is hard for us to understand that it is important to look after ourselves before we reach burnout. I burn out when I’ve ignored my body and my mind for so long that they’re worn paper thin and simply cannot continue as they are, so they shut down. The next few days usually involve me sleeping for 18 hours a day and quite a lot of tears.
Of course, the rest I get at this point is vital and healing, but I’m not really making an active choice to be kind to myself; I have no energy to do anything else but rest. What is more difficult is recognizing, at a far earlier stage, when you should rest in order to avoid this kind of collapse later on. It’s almost misleading to refer to ‘preventing burnout’, when the best way to do this is not to focus on avoiding that final crisis moment, but instead to focus on nurturing yourself when you’re feeling good, so that it stays that way!
This includes taking time for yourself when you notice your light flickering, and you’re flagging a little, but also when you’re glowing as brightly as you ever have before. Metaphors aside, I think it’s a matter of actively checking in on yourself, and giving yourself a break, even when you don’t necessarily think you ‘need’ it.
This is a difficult thing to do – it’s so tempting to start filling up your spare time with extra jobs at work or errands at home or plans with friends, because technically you do have the time and the physical capacity, but be honest with yourself – do you have the mental capacity? Just because you could take on that extra thing, doesn’t mean you should.
MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES
Christine of HonuMN
Are you feeling exhausted, low energy, and drained from every day being monotonous?
Chances are you have felt exhausted for sometime now. That means it’s time to change things up and stop doing what you are doing! Burnout doesn’t just go away without a change in behavior. For example, you can’t simply go on a vacation and come back to the same life, expecting the stresses to have disappeared. You need a pattern interrupt to change the things in your life that are contributing to the burnout and, quite honestly, time to heal from burnout.
Curing your burnout comes back to choosing to commit to yourself and making yourself a priority. It’s saying “no” to all the things that are causing the burnout in the first place (things that you feel obligated to do) rather than focusing on saying “yes” to the things that bring you joy. It’s giving yourself permission to rest when you need it and release the need to be perfect. As women it’s not uncommon to feel like we need to do everything and be everything to everyone before caring for our own needs.
Unfortunately, this frequently leaves us with nothing left to give to ourselves. We need to start asking for help and support and giving ourselves permission to be okay with, “what will get done, will get done.”
Burnout can certainly be avoided. Even when it feels like you don’t have a choice, you do. Stress is all around us, but we get to choose how we respond to it. Start by checking in with your body everyday and be honest with yourself about how you are really feeling. Ask yourself, “what in my life is causing overwhelm and stress?” Then do an energy audit. Is your day filled with a “to-do” list from the time you open your eyes in the morning to the time you shut them at night? What things are you doing for yourself that bring you joy today? Are you creating space everyday for yourself?
Bringing awareness to these patterns of behavior is the first step in changing these habits and curbing the effects of burnout.
SET BOUNDARIES
Olivia of Mary-Olivia Kram
Any young professional has been there: Staying up later to get that extra bit of work done. Waking up early to be the first to arrive at the office. Saving time by skipping a meal here or there. Checking your email at all hours of the day. Running yourself ragged, fueled by the pervasive productivity monster.
These are the warning signs of a troubling yet increasingly common phenomenon: burnout. It can be tempting, in our goal-oriented society, to push ourselves beyond our capacities in pursuit of success. But when we do this we tell ourselves that our work is more important than our health. Without our health our success means nothing. No promotion, no raise, no accolade will mean anything if you aren’t happy and healthy.
When you feel yourself hurdling head-first into a burnout, be honest with yourself. Do you really need to be firing on all cylinders, or can you afford to take a step back and care for your physical and mental health? Remove the pressure to fill every waking hour with productivity by building downtime into your schedule. Create boundaries around your work/life balance. Be aware that these boundaries start within yourself. Practice restraint in overworking yourself. Implement offline days, keep up with your sleep and diet, and make sure to enjoy your life outside of your hustle.
If you find the productivity monster rearing its ugly head, slow down and remind yourself that the true mark of accomplishment is not a fancy title but instead a healthy peace of mind. A healthy mind will lead to success, but success alone will not lead to a healthy mind.
IDENTIFY, PREPARE, RECOVER
Dr. Kate Steiner of Lift Wellness Consulting
Burn events (smaller events that occur throughout our day or week which can lead to burn out) cannot be avoided, they are a part of our everyday lives. These are activities, moments, or events that lead us to feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and fatigued. In order to break the cycle of burnout, it is important to observe and identify your burn events, prepare for those you identify, and recover from each. By using those 3 steps you can keep yourself from experiencing full-on burnout, which is characterized by feeling a sense of burden toward your work, a loss of joy, and feeling as though your work is unmanageable. Here is a closer look at each phase in the process of managing your burn events.
Identification/Observation Phase: During this phase take note of what burn experiences look like for you. What do you feel during and after a burn event? How do other people respond to you during a burn event? Review your calendar from the past month, were there times that you could identify as a burn event, so you can prepare differently next time? Using wellness assessments to discover areas that need more focus can be a helpful practice too.
Preparation Phase: focuses how you will plan for expected burn events and what daily wellness practices you include in your life. This may include a daily ritual to unwind from the busyness, set a specific sleep schedule, using boundaries to ensure that workouts or a daily walk still occur, or packing food with you to ensure that you are eating well.
Recovery: Establishing rituals and practices to help you recover from burn events.
A key to recovery is to spend time away from work. Be sure to include activities and things that bring you comfort into your recovery. Adding play to your daily life is also a great way to keep recovery at the forefront of your mind.
What’s your action plan for preventing and combating burn out?
Let us know in the comments below!
