Unpacking Solo Travel: Janelle Jones
I’m excited to share another Unpacking Solo Travel interview with you today -- this time with my friend, Janelle Jones. I met Janelle, a marketing strategist, six years ago in Bali on a business retreat. She’s been traveling, most recently in Mexico for a few weeks with her two kids, but is currently at home in Atlanta for the holidays.
When I first met Janelle, she was one of those awesome entrepreneurs who always had something going on that she was making happen. She is such an inspiring woman, and I hope you enjoy our conversation.
So Janelle, could you tell us a little bit about how you got interested in travel and what led to your solo travel experiences?
I think I was always interested in traveling. Even in high school, I would say that I'm going to India. I was obsessed with the idea. I always wanted to go to India, but my grandmother said that she was praying that I would not go at such a young age. So I did not get to travel until I was in my twenties.
When I finally was able to travel, it was just like something inside of me said, “I need to go. I've gotta get out of here. I know that there's more than they're telling me here in America. What are they hiding from me? I need to see it.”
And once I got out of the country, I never stopped.
I started in Jamaica because I had family down there, and then had the feeling of, “Okay what’s next?” So when I was 25, I went to Guatemala to study Spanish at a Spanish school. It wasn’t supposed to be a solo trip; my family wanted me to go with someone else. But the girl that I had gone with ended up leaving early, and left me there by myself, starting my solo travel journey.
And it just spiraled out control after that.
Okay, so with Guatemala and Jamaica, what were some of the hurdles that you faced leading up to these trips?
Back then, it was just trying to appease my parents and making sure that they felt like I was safe. I really wasn't worried about it. I have no fear in that regard. But I had to make them comfortable with it.
But after being left by myself in Guatemala, they realized that solo travel was something that I could do. So then it just turned into traveling all the time. One day I was in Orlando, and I landed and called my mom, saying, “Oh, by the way I'm in Orlando.” And she was like, “Okay, have fun,” like it was no big deal. So it slowly progressed
Now a hurdle is the fact that I have children. And their father doesn’t want to travel, so I have to decide if I should leave him and travel, or stay here with him. So now I have to try to find a healthy balance for me and for them.
And so do you sometimes take adventures that are just solo and then sometimes you take the kids? How are you finding that balance?
I'm really not going to leave the country without the kids. If I’m going out of the country, I'm taking them. If I'm staying in the country, then I feel okay to leave them for a couple of days. But if I'm going out of the country then I'm probably going for at least a week, if not a full month, so leaving them for that long is not an option.
I know a lot of women who travel alone are made to feel guilty by the people they love who are left at home. I am curious about what you have found that has been helpful for you in honoring and respecting and caring about people at home but still being true to yourself and your dreams?
I think to be honest, I've kind of lost respect for some people on that specific topic because they are so in fear for me, and I can't respect that fear.
I've been out there, and I know what's out there. I know how amazing it is. For someone to have that fear at this point doesn’t make sense. So I've lost some respect.
I don't care what they have to say about being scared for me. I’m not afraid, and that’s what matters. I'm going.
How do you help others to let go of that fear?
It's really just a matter of you doing it. It can be baby steps. Maybe if you haven't left your city, go out of the city. If you haven't left your state, leave the state. If you haven't left your country, then go to an island near your country.
Take baby steps until you realize that it’s not as bad as other people make it out to be.
I love the idea of baby steps.
Okay, so talk to me about meeting people. What are some of the ways you've made friends while you are traveling?
It’s so much fun, isn’t it? I remember one time in Thailand I went to a hotel bar, and I was sitting at the bar, and I met this guy, and we just hit it off. We started talking, and he asked if I wanted to leave and go to another bar, and we ended up bar hopping the whole night. And so I made a new friend that evening.
Eventually that night he introduced me to a girl he knew, and she introduced me to another girl, and another girl. That third girl and I actually ended up touring Thailand together a couple days later!
Don’t you love that? Other people’s travel friends become your travel friends, and you suddenly have new people to explore with.
Yes, I love it. I’ve met so many people like that. I met one of my friends in Bali and since then we’ve been to France and Costa Rica together. You just meet people and make friends. Even you and I met while traveling!
Our friendship is such a good example because I had very limited shared room experiences before that trip, so I never would have thought to book anything but my own room for that retreat. Until Bali I had no idea that you can make friends that way, that there is a benefit of sharing a room with strangers.
To answer the question of making friends while traveling solo, I think it’s important to be open to having roommates and invite people in. Just staying open is a big part of it.
I want to go back to the story you told about meeting the guy at the bar. For someone who has not had that experience of making friends at bars while traveling, the idea of meeting a stranger at a bar who says, “Hey, let’s get out of here and go somewhere else,” can sound very different than what it was for you. Can you walk us through how you came to realize that he wasn’t some creepy guy just hitting on you?
He wasn't hitting on me at all. We were literally just two travelers, talking. We weren't even sitting directly next to each other. We were sitting probably a couple of seats apart and just talking over the seats. So there was that level of contact, which made it easier to feel comfortable.
And I didn't feel unsafe with him at all. It was more like, “Hey, I’m going to this other place with lots of expats to meet my friends, do you want to come?” There was nothing uncomfortable or awkward about it.
He actually ended up leaving us at one point, and I never saw him again. But he left me with the girls that he introduced me to, who I became friends with.
It sounds like you really knew how to trust your instincts that night.
So what are some of the other places you've gone since then?
After Thailand it was to China for a day. I didn’t like that at all…
Then I came back to America and that's when I had my son. And then he and I went to Europe. We went to England, France, Italy, Denmark, and the Netherlands.
I love that you've been a little non traditional in your parenting. As soon as you had your son, you guys were out for months. Did you struggle with how becoming a mom would change the way you travel?
I didn’t really. Right from the start, I joined a bunch of mommy travel groups, and they were really helpful in figuring out how to navigate it all.
There's so much out there that I realized travel is not going to stop for me, and it didn't. It stopped for a couple months when I had my son. But very quickly I went back to that need to get going, because I still had more places to see.
Did you keep a schedule with your son or does the idea of a schedule fly out the window when you travel?
No, we pretty much can keep his schedule for the most part. He is on a very strict schedule. I need him to be on that schedule because I still work. So while we’re traveling, I work while he sleeps.
So he has a schedule, but kids go off of your energy. If my energy is calm, he’s calm and is able to just go with the flow.
Now did it change how you personally travel? I assume you can’t just go out bar hopping anymore, right?
I actually find babysitters wherever I travel. He had a sitter in Europe, had one in Costa Rica, everywhere we go. I ask the people that I meet on my trips who they would refer to me for a babysitter, and because I’m usually in the same place for at least a month, I have time to get to know the sitter before I actually leave him.
When you travel with kids people help you more. You're able to go through the fast lane at the airport. If you have a stroller or a kid, you sometimes get the shortcuts. It's so much better.
And people are also really accommodating. In England, strangers would pick up the stroller for me to get it on the train. In Mexico, they would just take the baby from me like he was a celebrity. Everyone wanted to hold him.
That’s incredible. So what are some things you learn from your travel experiences that you feel like are your big takeaways for life?
When I first started traveling, I really thought that America is the greatest place on Earth, because that’s just what we grow up thinking here. And I love America. But I love other places, too, now. My eyes have been opened and to be honest, now I see myself settling down somewhere else outside of America.
I've learned that the world is very expansive, and there are really genuinely great people out there, kind people, and people that will actually help you just for being you. You don't have to do anything for them.
I've learned that I'm resilient. Thankfully, I’ve never had anything bad happen to me while traveling, but I’ve learned how to be safer while traveling solo as a woman. It's all about knowing who you are and being very safe about it.
I know that as a Black woman, you probably experience travel differently than how I do as a white woman. I’ve heard stories from other Black women about being treated poorly in other countries for the color of their skin. Have you had to go through any similar experiences?
Actually I haven’t. I don't think I can think of an experience that I've had that's been different because of skin color. Thankfully, I think that everybody, for the most part, has been pretty normal for me. I just feel like most Black people don't travel extensively. And I really wish they would, because then they would see that there's so much more out there.
Can you tell us about some of your most memorable experiences while traveling?
I've had so many good memories! I stayed with a family in Thailand, an older couple who hosted me for a couple of weeks. I had a great time. They took me all over Thailand, and I never had to buy any food; they would just take me to the market and feed me. They made fresh smoothies every morning; I learned how to ride a moped, just all kinds of things. Then they put me on a bus to meet one of their American friends in Pattaya, and I got this beach trip out of it.
They were these really great, kind people. It was the best and we still email back and forth to keep up. Just a really genuine friendship.
I think you need to connect me with them so I can go stay with them one day!
So what advice would you give to other women who are thinking about traveling solo?
I would say get organized first. My biggest thing is always to be organized so you have no worries. You don't have to plan out your entire trip day by day, but just know where you're going, know where the embassy is, have your passport ready to go, have extra cash at all times. And just go. Just do it.
That's good, I love that. Just be prepared and have a plan. I think for someone who's just starting out, having those basic pieces figured out is really important. That first day, get to know your surroundings, take a tour, get your bearings, and you’ll be more comfortable because you’ll know more about where you are and how to get around.
Is there anything else about your experiences or any of your projects that you want to share?
I just really don’t want people to live in fear of traveling. That's my biggest thing and if you're considering it, like I said, just go. Take baby steps, but go.
With COVID, I feel safe about traveling now as long as I know precautions are being taken. COVID isn’t going away anytime soon, so if you wait for it to be over to travel, you’re not going to be able to travel. Find airlines that are handling it well, see how different hotels are operating, read recent reviews. It’s doable.
What do you have planned next? Any upcoming trips?
I did find flights to Puerto Rico for a $120 round trip, so I had to buy those!
And are you taking the kids?
Definitely.
I hope you enjoyed this conversation! If you want to keep up with Janelle, check out her website here. You can also read her new book, How I Traveled to 12 Countries in 2 Years (On a Budget With a Toddler).
Do you have questions about what it’s like to solo travel? Let us know in the comments below!